I couldn't resist this one...
1: All terrorists are allowed $65 dollars of duty free goods and merchandise.
2: Those having been incarcerated in Camp Freedom are allowed on Cuban Cigar each.
3: Under the Geneva Convention you are allowed one genuine Swiss Cuckoo clock and some chocolate.
4: All stolen works of art can be stored in Geneva too.
5: You are allowed, as a terrorist, first pick of the Red Cross charitable donations.
6: "Fair treatment" can be broadened to flag burning and taking shop classes in making President Bush/Tony Blair effigies.
7: The right to a "fair trial" - this means that being shipped off to Colombia and tried in a jungle clearing by 5 armed soldiers is now not allowed.
8: "Fair treatment" - not being forced to use your head to clean the toilet by passing Marines (shame).
9: No more replacing prayer mats with the old bed of nails mat.
10: In the unlikely event of a terrorist surviving a suicide bombing they can now be expected to receive treatment BEFORE being spat and stamped on.
11: We will now shout "Put down the gun" before opening fire. We apologise for any inconvienence this may have caused.
12: We will stop charging them for being incarcerated in Camp Freedom.
13: We will now extend the questioning beyond "Are you a terrorist?" and "When exactly did you decide that strapping explosives around your waist would be a good idea?"
14: There go the bright orange jumpsuits... but you looked so good in them!
Posted by AlexC at July 18, 2006 11:17 AM