October 26, 2005

DOOM: The Movie and film related things

A revolting prospect. Will I see it? No. I managed to save my sanity by not having seen any of the following either:

Mario Brothers
Mortal Kombat
Resident Evil
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

The whole prospect of a computer game made into a movie sucks for all the right reasons. Games are interactve, movies are passive. Games demand your complete attention, movies can pass over you. What games and movies can do, if skillfully handled, is immerse you and take you somewhere you cannot possibly arrive on your own.

I was reading a laborious argument on the merits of the film but it diversified into something far more interesting. The worst film you have ever seen. I got some of my own here, but add your favourites and why...

Higlander 2: The Quickening or The Sickening as my friends referred to it. How? HOW? I mean how did this ever get off the beer mat it was so obviously scribbled down on? Is there a worse actor than Christopher Lambert? It's so bad that I demand the 1 and a half hours I wasted my life watching this back.

Fortress Another Lambert classic. I actually walked out the cinema before this finished I was so disgusted and demanded my money back. Turgid dialogue, a plot that came from a 4 year old, acting so wooden I expected a group of Brazilian loggers to turn up with chainsaws any second. They didn't tho. Pity.

Suburbia A cast of unknowns, filmed on a camcorder and hailed by Sally as "a good film". Upon watching it again she was forced to admit that it was "putrid shit". Fortunately none of these people went on to blight our cinemas again.

Alien3 Not so much bad as soul destryingly disappointing. There is a long and laborious story attached to this as I saw all kinds of scripts for it in pre-production and it went from a sterling idea that was in the vein of Aliens to a half baked (but visually impressive) flawed film.

So, what are yours then?

Posted by AlexC at October 26, 2005 02:46 PM

Alien three AND four AND that goddamn Alien vs. Predator piece of shite.

They took a beloved franchise (tow if you include Predator) and fracked it up bigtime. Christ, it's bad when I know for a fact that my eight year old could write a better movie than Alien vs. Predator!!
I mean, sure, you'd be wondering where the giant robots and ninjas came from, but it would at least be interesting!!!

That said, the worst movie ever made was a film called Hardware. Contagion will agree.

Although "Sideways" is a close second...

Posted by: Graumagus at October 27, 2005 08:28 AM

"Meet Joe Black"

After half an hour, Me & TNT looked at each other and agreed that it wasn't worth finishing.

Posted by: Harvey at October 27, 2005 02:22 PM
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