This years annual Christmas Conference of Evil was the most highly anticipated yet. People Fiends from far and wide were gathering to discuss the possibilities of ruining another festive season and the annual report would make for some interesting reading. Around the long table, in front of the roaring fire with glasses of warm blood filled the chairman stuck the gong to bring the meeting to order.
"Gentlemen, ladies, fiends I welcome you once again to our AGM of the CCE. For those of you newly elected to the board I welcome you, for those amongst us, the old timers so to speak, I know you will be eager to get down to business. I would first like a report from the annual Toy Shortage Committee. Mr Gates?"
"As predicted there will be shortages of the main toy lines as per usual. Various factories have been 'encouraged' to fall short of their targets, the trucking unions have been handed their 'Christmas bonuses' and this year my firm has made sure the XBox 360 crashes just like all other Windows based systems." With this Mr Gates sat down to a polite ripple of applause.
"Mr Reynolds?"
Evil Glenn stood up to a round of applause. "Mine is strange tale this year..."
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Star wanted an advent calendar. I knew this because for the 400th time in 5 minutes she had said "I want an advent calendar. Nanny and grandad said I can have one." I entertained thoughts of in-law homicide on the grounds of diminished responsibility for around the 400th time too. I had reached the limits of my patience and decided that, just to shut her up I would buy her one. We walked through the supermarket and towards the isle with christmas crap on it.
"Look daddy, it's that strange man again"
"Glenn! What are you doing?" There, in the middle of the Christmas gift isle squatted Evil Glenn surrounded by advent calendars, chocolate smeared all over his face. A small pile of paper lay in front of him and he seemed to be busy putting these into the advent calendar windows.
"Erm..." said Glenn looking around "Nothing. You cannot prove anything! I was never here! Erm..." I walked over to him and looked at the papers. "IOU one small chocolate piece? Glenn! What on earth is this about?" Jumping to his feet he fled past me cackling with glee.
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"Interesting Mr Reynolds. How many stores did you manage that in?"
*Belch* "Around 32 000 as of last night."
"Impressive"
"There is more to come..."
And there is....
Posted by AlexC at November 24, 2005 02:19 PMThat filthy lawyer has NO shame!
Either that, or he's trying out for the remake of "Bad Santa" :-)
I took the liberty of dropping a link in the assignment comments at HQ, since this fits the theme.
Posted by: Harvey at November 24, 2005 07:17 PM