August 31, 2005

Decorating My Home

Not my real home, this one. I have decided to finally put some work into this excuse of a blog, but kind of slowly and gently. I put some effort into actually looking through the directory structures and the CSS sheets and decided that I might actually try and make this place a bit more welcoming.

How I am going to do this is something of a mystery. I do a lot of things by trial and error... you might have noticed that... so I am going to do a proper banner/logo thingy and, maybe, some nice background colours... Who am I kidding? I will make it up as I can get the time (currently struggling with a relational databse and picking a programming language for the interface for work is taking more time than I thought).

I might even overhaul the categories as I looked through them and they look... lame :/ Let's face it - when you are confronted by a giant blank canvas it gets kind of intimidating especially if you are pushed for time. Even my Filthy Lies have dropped off to nothing (and I had a few corkers I can tell you that might still see the light of day).

So what to do? Suggestions on the used beermats I am currently using for comments please :-)

Posted by AlexC at 03:35 PM | Comments (3)

August 30, 2005


A man is walking down a country lane when he sees a farmer standing at a gate clutching a pig with 3 good legs and one wooden one. Puzzled, the man goes over to the farmer and says "I can't help noticing that your pig there has a wooden leg. Why?"

"Ah," says the farmer "Well, there's a bit of a story to that."

"Thought there might be." says the man "Go on then."

"Well, one night me, the missus and the kids are asleep in the house over there. A fire started in the downstairs room and soon it started to engulf all the house. This pig dashes into the house and starts squealing and running around, pulling us all out to safety. Then the pig goes over to the pump we've got, knocks off the top making the water gush all over the house helping control the fire."

"Wow! Then what?"

"It then comes over to where we all are, gives us mouth to snout resuscitation, dashes over to the phone and dials the emergency services but leaves the phone off the hook so they can trace the call!"

"So the pig lost its leg in the fire then?"

" Oh no! With a pig like that you wouldn't eat it all at once now would you?"

Posted by AlexC at 04:13 PM | Comments (2)

Why Fix It If It Isn't Broke?

I have a lot to do with cars at the moment. Not the greatest thing in the world to have to deal with, but it is a necessary evil. Cars do not interest me in the way that they interest most men. I know what I like, sure, and can admire asthetics as much as the next Harvey, but engine performance, etc really is not that much of an issues. I let Sally choose things like colours, number of doors, Gollum restraints, etc. So long as it is not pink and underpowered that is fine my me.

Ford have redesigned their Focus (the European version). Ford in the UK had a not too good reputation for their cars. Workmanlike, a little unreliable, not popular with mechanics (the result of mass production is they are built for Ford's convenience and not for after sales care). With the Focus they really got it right - it looked good, drove well, was reliable, had minor cosmetic alterations during its production.

Then they changed it.

Now, asthetically, it looks like my mom designed it. They started with the front, did an OK job of that, the profile, well not too bad, but then you get to the back and it is OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU NOT FINISH IT!!! The back just... ends. It is SO ugly! Whenever I see one I look at it and (as Mr T so eloquently put it) I pity the fool who drives this car, I pity him! Who makes these decisions in Ford? Did some executive come along and go "Well, the Focus. It's getting on a bit now so here is a picture of a car my 5 year old son did so copy that. No if's or but's, just get on with it."

Underneath it is still an old Focus. The engine, transmission, electrics are all the same - these worked and they didn't change them. Some subtle alterations on the body might not have gone amiss, but they have missed the point. It is just ugly and embarassing.

Posted by AlexC at 04:02 PM | Comments (1)

August 01, 2005

Oi! Clean Up That Mess!

You all come over here making a mess and... OMG! What the hell is THAT in the corner and... WTF! WHO did that??? There is a toilet around here somewhere? What? There's a what in the toilet? How the hell do you get a WHOLE yucka plant in there? And who the hell left all these llama's in here? Ogre??? You sure that dressing a llama like Britney Spears is entirely legal?

Glad you all dropped by though. Call again soon :-D

Posted by AlexC at 02:36 PM | Comments (6)